Bullying Facts – The long-term impact of bullying

Welcome to another Joe the Biker video blog.  You have the option of reading the content of the blog or viewing it in a video format.

 

Parents have to realize the long-term impact that a person who has been targeted and traumatized by being bullied experiences.  If a child is not guided through the event and given positive nurturing they will have to learn to live with the anger and pain it created causing low-esteem and poor self image for the rest of their life.  Today I am going to talk about that long-term pain and anger and the challenge involved in overcoming it as adults.

I have great compassion for those who are still experiencing hatred and anger born from their experiences as a child when they found themselves targeted by bullies.  Anger is part of the healing process necessary for a person to be restored to a healthy state and be okay with themselves.  It was only after an accident in my thirties did I discover what had defined me as an adult was based on what I experienced as a child.  I believe we never can heal those scars totally but they can help us grow to gain greater understanding of our existence and reality.

The healing process from childhood trauma involves first experiencing anger, then moving forward with an understanding of human nature followed by forgiving those who hurt us.  One can eventually achieve an enlightened level of insight into the world we live in.  It gives us the ability to cope with the past knowing that like ourselves everyone is but the by-product of their experiences and the culmination of events that mold their perceptions.  This gives us the ability to accept others and their negative actions because they too are referencing that which defines them.

So many times we hold on to anger and never go forward.  “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burnt”. Buddha

Holding on anger creates a cancer in us that eats away at our very happiness.  Mauling it over in our consciousness only embedded it deeper into our core.  Since we are defined by the way we think consciously and subconsciously anger can be seated deep as a reference point in our behavior as a result.  We may not even realize its existence within us but unconsciously we refer to it in making decisions and how we treat others.  That is why some childhood victims become adult bullies – anger and revenge.

It is only when we become aware of our strengths and weaknesses do we learn self-love which gives us the ability to accept others just the way we find them with their strengths and weaknesses.   Knowing, like ourselves, they are but products of their life experiences.  That insight is an important part of healing.  We can forgive those who hurt us, because we understand that they, like us, are no more than human.  We never forget what they did but we don’t hold on to the anger associated with it.  After forgiveness one can pursue a normal life coping with the scars but being productive and maintaining healthy self-esteem and self-worth.

We are but humble servants with the purpose and mission of helping others.  Each of us possesses the power to change and the ability to help others.  When we take the initiative to use our energy in a positive way not only do we help others but it is cathartic.  With each act of kindness each of us contributes in a positive way to helping others which helps us.

We can all live a productive and successful life when we come to the awareness that we are here to help others on their journeys.  When our motive is personal fulfillment it becomes easier to move forward without any barriers.  By sharing and caring for others it fills the voids created by those horrific experiences.

As hard as it is to accept we are given an opportunity to make a difference in the lives of others because of what we have experienced and want others to avoid.  I have learned that I am not by myself, not alone and there are others who can help me.  There are those close to me that I can share my pain with the knowledge that they will listen and try to understand.  Trauma can’t be erased but can be eased by sharing our feelings and emotions – it takes away some of the loneliness.

You have to want to heal to heal.  My only motivation for the last five years is to help children avoid the pain and help adults who have been victimized by the heartless behavior of others to heal so we may lead a happy, productive life.

Thanks for spending some time with me.  I always encourage feedback to my blogs and am willing to answer any questions you may have.  Just contact me at www.joethebiker.com and remember to download your Free Parents’ Guide to Bullying by

clicking here NOW

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